DEBBI BURCH. FORMATIVE PSYCHOLOGIST. SOMATIC THERAPIST.
I am as passionate about connection now as when I started as a therapist in 1997.
We all know when things aren’t right.
We might not know it’s because our connection to our own nature is broken or weak but usually, in my experience, that’s why.
When as adults we are connected to our nature, we know and respect what we need. We are naturally our most authentic, loving, purposeful and selfless selves.
Because we have normalised this connection there is an ease, a natural perception of the resonance between the world in and around us.
The problem is, when things aren’t right, we tend to think we are the problem. So we turn away from ourselves.
We look to that person, that place, that job or that group of friends to give us validity. We adapt and perform.
When all along, nature is here in us, calling.
It might call as frustration, sadness or anxiety. Or perhaps as loss, panic or depression. Or perhaps as a nameless, haunting melancholy that tells you there is some place better than here.
The very experience we think confirms our not-rightness is nature trying to remind us that we care, that this life in us matters and that we have these dreams.
The world in us – this nature – informs us through our instincts, insisting on these simple requirements in this order:
– our bodies want somewhere to live – to have a safe space of our own;
– our hearts want some-one to love – to have our nature unconditionally accepted by someone we respect;
– our minds want something to do – to make something unique and bring it to the world.
People and cultures both go through these evolutionary stages.
A baby’s priority is its body. A child’s priority is belonging. An adolescent’s priority is his or her individuating mind.
Once we have reached maturity we need to use this newly creative mind to craft a wholeness – a synthesis of body, heart and mind – which is a new evolutionary stage in itself.
This new wholeness in us allows us to perceive wholeness around us in a completely new way.
But if we find that we are not connected to our own nature then our perception of wholeness where outer and inner naturally resonate will elude us. We will know that things aren’t right.
Luckily we now understand that every instinct we have learned to ignore is right here, singing louder than ever, to get our attention.
The song of rage, terror, jealousy, unnameable darkness or any other experience is simply our instinctive voice.
There are no bad instincts. I know how audacious that sounds.
Being greedy is only needing food or a safe place.
Being jealous is only needing love.
Being controlling is only needing to make something and bring it.
The problem isn’t the instinct. The problem is when the instinct isn’t validated so satisfaction is impossible.
As we recognise this song as our need to grow – to become whole, to shine like the sun and break open like a seed, we see there is no song in us that is not part of wholeness.
Our song then burns freely in us and radiates from us – no longer trapped in shame or thrown in rage, this splendour spills into the world that we can now recognise as this same nature.
This nature in us that has been passed from seed to seed since the beginning of time can now be consciously reunited with Nature itself, through our conscious experience.
What a homecoming. Everything you thought was wrong in you turns out to be splendid.
I am in my element helping you be in yours.
Every flower just wants to bloom.